Vibez Kartel doing the Crab in a Barrell dance

I Am, Amy Ashwood
Letter To The Editor

On behalf of all the persons who gripe but do not write, I am begging broadcast programmers to reconsider the content of entertainment programmes between now and the December holiday seasons. If what was aired on TVJs Entertainment Report on Friday, November 7 is any indication of what is to come, we can look forward to a Filth-Filled Christmas.

The programmer explained that he sought only to expose what was in the mind of international dancehall entertainer and current chart topper Vibes Kartel. I think that a documentary would have been a better vehicle to expose how he aggrandises his songwriting prowess, endorses his products and degrades another working-class dancehall artiste. He ended his taunts of that fellow artiste with the call “bill!” - a reference to the bill cutlass that will hook, cut and tear in one motion. In truth, this is an old tactic. Every year around this time dancehall artistes try to build the hype around themselves so that they can charge big fees during the holiday season.

The ER feature included clips of Kartel assaulting the viewer with a toy gun, and the producer added to the assault by including a gunshot audio to that motion. The effect of creating a menacing moment on an entertainment programme in prime time was achieved. This was so disrespectful to viewers and wrong for the type of programme.

Among Kartel’s claims is that he is the “baddest DJ in the history of dancehall” and that Jamaican people will be the judge of this. I have taken the liberty to distill some of what he has been promoting since the start of 2008:

This letter was sent to the Broadcasting Commission and was forwarded to OutAroad.com by the writer Amy Ashwood.

Dear Commissioner,

I am moved to write about the content of TVJs November 7 edition of Entertainment Report between 8:00p.m. and 8:30 p.m. which carried, in my humble opinion, content that promotes the furtherance of creative work, not news, that is offensive to the general public and dangerous to young minds and therefore possibly contra to the conditions of the broadcast license.

There was an extensive interview with the entertainer Vibes Cartel (Vybez Kartel) discussing a feud between himself and fellow dancehall entertainer Mavado. In the Interview, Cartel mentioned that the lyric, "mek duppy like number on SIM card."

I am sorry that the programme editor considers this to be family entertainment and not a vehicle for crass, destructive celebrity gossip. It seems to me to be a an obvious build-up to another dancehall cass cass in time for Christmas and another money making Sting clash? A look at the charts will be instructive, as they are both in the lead and perfectly poised for a duel.

During the top ten countdown of popular songs the top three songs alluded to or veiled offensive lyrics that are in the following songs:

#3 - Movado "Car Back"
The clip "Seh no care so she fuck pon the car top" was played with the expletive bleeped.

The rest of the song was not played but mentions:
"We nyam pum pum like a pizza pack"

“Dem gyal deh nuh care, Dem sidung pon mi sittin like chair;
Mi move di G-string unda wear, PUM-PUM! Too phat it affi share.
Suh mi gi har fi handle it, She 'LAAD woi Bangle it'.
Too big suh she cyaah dismangle it; She ah walk and ah shankle dip.”

By Patrice Henry
Letter To The Editor

Good Morning Mr. President (Elect) - Mr. Barack Obama. President of the World!! I am not American. I am Jamaican but it fills me with absolute pride & joy to be a part of this great day in history. This victory is not just America's but also the World as a whole. American politics has long infiltrated the affairs of the world & so we all celebrate. From every 'nook & cranny', we say THANKS for this great CHANGE.

The rise of an African-American as President not only gives young & upcoming generations confidence and a new outlook on American politics as it has been known for over 200 years, but it also gives a sense of liberation to Black people all over who have fought for many years for this dream to become a reality.

It gives hope to people of colour everywhere. It gives solace to realize that America is now turning it's eyes away from colour and now to progression.

Many of us thought we'd never see this day but it is now here. Our children & our children’s children will now know of an America that chose a man of colour for President.

"The sex is so painful, it’s like I can feel him in my belly bottom".

Dear Mr proppafix,

Please don’t laugh at me when I relate my problem to you, but it is really very ironic. I am an educated young lady who lives and works in the corporate area. I recently got in a relationship with a successful, caring and understanding young man and everything was fine until we started having sex. He has a huge penis - the first time I saw it I was in total shock. I had no idea that he was walking around with that weapon in his pants.

At first, I thought I would get use to it after having sex couple of times with him but it has been more than three months now and it’s the same tribulation I am going through.

The irony of the situation is that I used to always jokingly tell my girl friends that I didn’t want any small d*ck man but it seems that I have taken on more than I can handle. I love him dearly, but I am so afraid of him in the bedroom and even though he is so caring and careful with me - the sex is so painful, it’s like I can feel him in my belly bottom. The first time we had sex I had to see a doctor the day after because I thought he had shifted my womb.

Our sex problem has led me to resort to giving him oral sex instead of letting him penetrate me, but he told me that there is no compromise to the ‘real’ thing.

Sometimes I develop an argument so I would have a valid reason not to have sex with him because I am not getting any pleasure, my mind is only on the pain. Even though I love him, at times I think of giving up on the relationship because it would be unfair to have someone love you and you are not able to please them a hundred percent.

Mr proppafix I am in a real dilemma, although it might sound a bit cliche, but this guy is everything that a girl could ever want in a man. What should I do? I am confused.

-M.H.

I'm not satisfied sexually or emotionally with this man

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix,
For the past 12 months, I've been with a man who's done nothing but lied to me. We hooked up about a year ago, he was just coming out of a relationship and so was I. At first, I was skeptical about him but he played his role so well that I didn’t even see it. I mean this man sold me a dream, he was different from the previous man that I was with, or so I thought. He acted nice, caring and understanding of my needs and everything. Hell he even acted as if he was financially stable which at this day and age is hard to find. We spoke about what we were getting ourselves into and I even told him that we could take things slow and there was no rush. Of course, at times he ended up accusing me of not wanting to take things seriously.

Anyway, less than 6 months into this relationship, I walked into him with another woman accidentally, but I believe that it was God's way of telling me that he was just a jerk. Of course, my initial response was to run fast the other way which I did but later I ended back with him after he apologized so much and claimed that he would not do that again (I didn’t believe him but I stayed). I'm young, financially stable, well educated with a B.A and I am currently studying my Masters Degree. I actually don't need this man to do anything for me especially after I found out that he was only a BUM with a job .He parties constantly, cannot support his self financially and whines about everything. I really don't have the time to babysit a grown man and I have had it with him.

I'm not satisfied sexually or emotionally with this man. If I stay with him, I will have to cheat and I'm not the type of woman to stray. I want to break up but the only problem is that he is a fixture in the Dancehall community and a lot of people know that we are indeed together. They will never understand my decision to break it off & will probably think I'm the "Whore" when he is the one because he portrays an image of perfection to them. How do I handle this? Your response will be kindly appreciated. Thank you.

Dear Mr Proppafix
I am having a serious problem with my marriage and I would love if you could give me your take on the situation. My husband and I have been married for three years now and we have enjoyed an excellent relationship up until a few months ago. We have never had a problem with discussing our feelings with each other, which I think is why our relationship has been so good.

The problem is - a few months ago, my husband came in from work heated for sex. This time however I was on my period and when I told him, he said something that I never thought he would say to me. He said that he wanted me to go down on him since he could not get the thing that he really wanted. I was a bit shocked at first because he has never brought any argument like that to me before.

I didn’t do it at the time but for days after my mind was still on the whole situation and I thought that It would be fun for us to go down on each other. When I suggested this to him, he became angry, said men were not meant to do those things, and women were because it is the only way we can please our man when seeing period. He claims that I should do it because he doesn't want to cheat on me when he is horny and I am unavailable to please him.

Mr proppafix, I couldn’t believe that he could reason something out like that because it’s unfair to me. Since the whole argument, our sex life has deteriorated because he has been pressuring me to do it to him whenever I am seeing my period and I have been refusing. I would have probably done it if he didn’t talk all that bullsh*t about women were designed to give head!

I don’t know what I am going to do about this whole situation because I can’t afford for something as stupid as this to wreck our marriage- pleases I would love some of your advice.

-Wife

She told me she has one kid but after two years I found out it’s five

Mr Proppa Fix march 2006 I meet this half Chinese girl so pretty that you wouldn’t want a fly to pitch on her, she’s kind, loving, caring she was something to talk about. But as time goes by I remember finding myself with a fractured ankle in the early stage of the relationship. I was low on cash throughout my injuries and she was the one supporting me with what she has. My injuries last for about two and a half month so her little has gone then I start working.

We have been together now for the past two years, but since of late I found out that she don't want me to talk much to her family, I keep on questioning myself why. Then approaching the end of the second year a serious allegation reaches my ears this was when I went fishing with her brother who told me that she has five kids, she was 33 years of age, and I get to understand that she is not able to produce any more children. When I met her, she told me she was 28yrs old, she had one child and she don't smoke.

When hearing, my idea was to end it but I remember what she did for me during my injuries so I planning to help her the way I can before telling her its over because I'm not planning to play an ungrateful role. I never confront her with it because her answers would be no and I hear from several of her family. Now that I am in Anguilla I am planning to tell her it’s over, but her family and friends are begging me not to leave her so what should be the best ideal thing to do.

-Sent from my BlackBerry

Dear Mr Proppafix:

I never thought that I would be in a situation like this. I am a 26-year-old woman living in Jamaica and. I am from a close-knit family and I am always keeping in regular contact with all of them particularly my younger brother who is currently working in the United States.
My younger brother and I have always had the best relationship out of all my other siblings. I am his number one confidant when it comes on to personal matters or anything else whether it is relationship related or financial advice. He has told me on numerous occasions that he looks up to me as his mentor and that he has a lot of respect for me.

He left Jamaica because he got a good job opportunity and he entrusted me with all his financial information and even put my name on his bank account so I am able to lodge and with draw money for him, particularly as I am the one who is looking after his daughter. Since he left, he has been sending money and I have been taking care of his business and ensuring that his daughter’s school fee is paid.

My boyfriend and I had accounts in the Cash Plus scheme and my boyfriend kept on hinting to me that I should invest some of the money that my brother was sending in Cash Plus because I could reap the benefits from the interest. At first, I totally dismissed the idea but I thought about it and I figured that nothing would be wrong with making a little extra money. It could help with the rent and all the other bills.

I didn’t mention my idea to my brother because I knew that he would not want to risk his money in something so unstable. I took $300,000 of the money he had in savings and deposited into my Cash Plus account and everything was going well until the whole scheme crashed and I lost all the money.

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix,

I would like to ask for your sincere advice on a very confusing state that I am in at the moment.

I am a College student of the age of 17 plus, and I am currently "involved" with a police guy who is in his late thirties. He is married to a woman in her mid thirties. They have been in the marital status for a little more than a year.

This guy keeps telling me that he loves me, and wants to leave his wife for me. He also tells me that he want us to have children when I’m in the "working world", and that what he feels for me is real.

I have feelings for this guy as well, but I do not know if what I’m doing is right, should I let him leave his wife? By the way, they do not have any children together!

He says that he does not love her, and he has a strong connection with me, as we are similar in various ways, such as personality traits, etc. He has a lot of things he wants to accomplish with me. He wants us to live together in the future, and he wants us to share our lives together in every way we can, including marriage.

What I am doing might seem very distraught, by onlookers, but I am able to talk to this guy about anything and everything, he is my friend as well as my lover, and he has a lot of qualities that I admire. His wife isn't even living in the same house as him. She is on the other side of the island, he says that they are not "intimate", and haven't been in a long time.

Dear Mr. ProppaFix,

I really don’t know why I am writing this letter because I used to think that only lame a*s people do this kind of stuff, but I have found myself in a really sticky situation and I need some unbiased advice. I am a Jamaican who currently lives in the United States. I have an identical twin sister who I share an apartment with. We go to the same university but study different major.

The problem started when I met this really cute guy at school during orientation week. We started talking when he approached me and asked me something about the major I was doing and we discovered we were studying the same thing. I was so excited and I told my sister as soon as I saw her. She seemed a bit jealous when I told her but I thought it was just because she was scared that I would no longer have time for her.

After a couple of days, we started dating and everybody would stare at us in the mall because we were always all over each other. We went everywhere together and we did all our assignments together. I even stayed at his dorm a few nights, which made my sister mad, but I didn’t care. I really started to feel for this guy.

My sister became more and more miserable as my new relationship blossomed, but I paid it no mind because I thought that she was just being a bit jealous. One day when I came home and we were alone, she made a shocking confession to me. She told me that she tricked my man and fuc**d him behind my back. I was so hurt and upset that I left the apartment for a week and went to stay with one of my girlfriends. I knew that there was something wrong with her, but I really did not expect her to do something like this. I stopped talking to my boyfriend at first, but then I started to wonder if I should really blame him. People have always confused me for my sister and vice versa. I am still mad at my sister because I know she only did it to get my attention, but I am hurt because I feel like I will never be more than ‘two of a kind’ to anybody. I want people to see me as an individual, because although I may look like my sister, my ways are totally different!

At this moment I am very confuse because I don’t know where to begin. Do you think I should forgive my sister for what she has done and what should I do with my man? Do you think he did it on purpose?

-Two of a kind

Dear Mr.Proppafix:
I don't know if this is the right thing to ask you about or not but I figure if it isn't you'll throw it away, anyway here goes. I have been married for 20 days and my husband and I can't have sex. I don't think there are any problems with either one of us but he mentally believes he has a problem. We have tried a lot but never been able to do it. Sometimes it hurts me a whole lot if I'm not into it so he'll stop or sometimes he goes soft. But I just don't know what to do.
-S.M

Dear S.M,
I am sorry to hear that you are having a problem so early in your marriage but I am sure that this can be solved if you are both willing to work at it. Please do not ignore it because bedroom problems can often lead to other much greater ones.

Judging from what is in your letter, I can tell that you and your husband hadn’t been having sex prior to getting married. This means that you are just starting to share a sex life together and it can take some time to get to know what each other likes. You need to sit down and talk about what is happening or what is going through your head when you are about to have sex. Let your partner know what turns you on the most and if he’s able to do that, I am sure that it will be a much enjoyable experience.

Dear Mr. ProppaFix:

Well I don't know where to begin. I am crying and shaking right now. To tell you a little background on my relationship. I am a27 year old female, and I am dating a 37 year old man. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and he has a 7-year-old daughter that I get a long great with. I couldn’t be happier, I met him through work, and our relationship is very strong, or so I thought!

A few weeks ago, he had a day off work to go golfing. When I got home from work, I always get on the computer to check my email but this time he had forgotten to sign off the computer. It was on a website called horny matches and didn’t want to be nosy so I signed off. I was curious though, so I wrote down his screen name to check into it later. Later that night I told him "thanks for the nude picks on the computer” his face got a little weird look and he laughed it off. A few days later, I just had to see what his profile said on that website, so I looked. To my surprise, it says he is bi-curious and would like to meet another couple. I wanted to see how far he would go with this, so I made a fake profile to his exact wants - a couple looking for bi-male for fun. I winked at him a couple times, and he fell for it and emailed this fake profile.

He said he was interested and would like to meet sometime. (OH my goodness - he wasn't supposed to email them). I decided I would email back, seeing how far he would actually go. I emailed saying "we" were interested in him too and when would he like to meet. He emailed back, asking if this Saturday would work for us.

It so happens that I was going to be out of town with family that same coming weekend, so I won't be around. He wasn't really supposed to email this fake profile. I am heartbroken!! What should I do? We are living together, and this is the first time that I was planning to leave the house overnight without him. That jerk, the one time I leave and he is making plans to cheat on me. I thought since he was emailing this "other" couple I would ask questions about him, pretending "we" wanted to get to know him better. I asked if he has ever been with another couple and if he has had any experience with a man. He answered no to being with another couple, but yes, he has given oral to a man. I also asked what is fantasies were - he answered by saying that "he wants to be with another couple." He then asked the fake couple if the boyfriend was bisexual. I am so sick to my stomach because I didn't see any signs of this.

Dear Mr. ProppaFix,

I am a regular reader of your column and would love to encourage you to keep up the good work you are doing. I am 22yrs old and just finished a Bsc Degree in Marketing at an American university.

Ever since going to high school I have been a great football fan going to every schoolboy football games that I could. I didn’t believe however that I would fall so crazily in love with a football player. I always told myself that I would never date one because I think they are mostly womanizers. To my surprise and misfortune I met this guy that I have been dating for the last 4 years, he plays for Jamaica but lives in England as he's contracted on a major team there.

At first, he tried so hard to convince me that he was different, I introduced him to my family and he introduced me to his. There are women constantly calling my phone from Jamaican area codes as well as England area codes shortly after he leaves each location and he says it is a stalker girl from England that likes him but he told her he's with me and she makes her friends in Jamaica call me when she knows he's there. He also justifies it by saying I should expect that because he is a well-known footballer.

He paid my rent while I was in college and was a major financial support for me, he constantly tells me that I am going to leave him when I accomplish my Degree, and frankly I think I am. I have put up with his cheating for much too long and he always uses the relationship I have with his family as a ploy for us to stay together. I am so depressed and his constant cheating has forced me to study harder and I am graduating with honors and made the Dean’s list and at this point in my life I think enough is enough and I can’t take it anymore and I am leaving.

Hi Mr. ProppaFix - I am a well educated woman in a good job. I used to laugh at people that wrote to these advice columns, but I think that you do a really good job when it comes on to giving good advice. I have found myself in a real jam and I was wondering if you could help me out because I have nobody else that I can chat with face to face about my business. bisexual

I have been married to my husband for three years and we courted for five years before that so I thought I knew him but apparently, there were things that I didn’t know. The problems all started about two years into our marriage when certain things became apparent.

We have a family friend that my husband and I knew before we got married. I would to believe that they are only best friends as they spent a lot of time together and they even worked at the same company. The first sign of any problems happened when my husband proposed to me and at the time, I could not understand why his friend stopped coming round to the house as he used to. My husband said that they had a little conflict and were no longer on speaking terms. I accepted his explanation and thought nothing of it as the best of friends have conflicts from time to time.

Couple of days after I was doing some chores around the house and I found that my husband had left his phone and gone out with his friend. I have never had any reason to doubt his loyalty to me in any way, but for some strange reason - I decided to have a look at his text messages and I was shocked at what I found. There was a message in his phone that was saying that the person missed him and how long they haven’t been able to make love at their favorite spot in such a long time. As you can imagine I was so upset and I really didn’t know what to do. There was no name attached to the text. So I private my number and dialed and to my surprise - a man answered the phone. At first, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I didn’t want to believe so I hung up the phone without saying anything. I called my closest sister later that day, she called the number and got the same person, and later we found out that it was my husband’s best friend.

Mr Proppa fix
I am a twenty-year-old student of a prominent tertiary institution in the corporate area. Most girls at school find me attractive as they say that I am a ‘face boy’ and I work out so I am quite muscular. Something has been bothering me for a few weeks and I need your advice on what I should do.

I am relatively popular at school, so I know many females from all different faculties. A few weeks ago, I was a home sleeping when a girl who said that she was a secret admirer called my phone. She said that she got my number from one of her friends and she saw me on campus and really wanted to get to know me. We agreed to meet up later that night at her place.

When I got to her house later that night, I was surprised to find out that I knew her and not only that- she was in my faculty, but in a different year. I had no idea that she was admiring me on that level. She was not really my type because she was a bit on the chubby side but I thought - what the hell - might as well make use of the opportunity!

To cut a long story short, I ended up spending the night, but it was not what I anticipated at all. When things started to get very hot between us and I started to kiss her and caress her body everything was fine. It was all good up until the point that I started to strip off her clothes and I noticed a foul smell in the room. At first, I was wondering, almost in denial, as to where the smell was coming from, but the more I took off, the worse the odor got. I am a very fussy guy when it comes on to hygiene but I know that I am not exaggerating when I say that this girl's p*ssy smell worse than a dead decomposing person (and I know what a dead person smells like).

Hi, Mr. Proppa Fix

I have three children with my husband and he has a 25 year old from a previous marriage. here is my problem we recently filed bankruptcy about one year ago he had vowed to me that he would not tell any of his family members about our financial business especially with the bankruptcy, however he told his son who lives in Florida 300 miles away from us .He tells him all of our financial and personal information, I even overheard him on the phone. I asked him why he told him our secret and he said ‘so what’- he has a business degree in finance and he knows what he is doing. I feel like it is none of his damn business degree or not.

The step son was always asking us to refinance our home when he was working at the mortgage company!! I didn’t want my house refinanced at the time, but he still continued to call us every day and damn harassing me. His topic of conversation all the time is about money, that’s all he talks about and quite frankly it is disgusting!! He talks fast and in circles and he asked my husband who gets our house when we die and if we have a life insurance policy, and he tells my husband things like oh your house isn’t worth what we are asking for. I overheard my husband saying that he wants a divorce from me because of the financial setback is all my fault and that I am bipolar and that he wants his son to come here and get in my face and tell me what to do. What the hell is going on here?

My husband also 2 years ago called his ex girlfriend up and then lied to me about it. She called his cell phone that he left on the kitchen table and it has been one thing after another with this man - strange voices on his cell phone as well- females I might add. I want the divorce and I told him that 2 years ago. So please help me and get back to me I am so mad and angry and upset I know my marriage is done but my question to you is why he feels he has to tell his son all of our personal and financial information. He can’t do anything for us unless he plans on bringing us a suitcase full of money! This is a kid who loves to talk and is a big bullshitter and just wants money from his dad and to nose and pry in our business- get back to me.

-R.L

Dear Mr. Proppafix

I have some burning issues that I have to sort out before I will be able to progress with my life. I am a 28 year old married woman living in upper St Andrew with a blossoming career in marketing. My husband a handsome - well known businessman that many women consider attractive and throw themselves at him on a daily basis. We have been married for close to four years now and so far our relationship has been wonderful.

There is a huge skeleton in my closet that is getting to me; even to the point where I find it difficult to sleep at times because I feel so guilty. About six months into our marriage, I was doing some shopping on the mall one weekend when my ex- boyfriend who worked with a clothing company, called me and said he wanted to fit some of the new clothing that had just come from abroad. I hesitated but eventually agreed to pass by his place.

I had no intention of doing anything but trying on some clothes but when I was in the changing room, my ex opened the door on me and one thing lead to another and we ended up on the floor sexing each other like two mad people. He knew I couldn’t resist him because he was always the best lover I ever had. We made love a long time and I could tell that he really missed my body. The problem occurred when his friend who was in the other room sorting out some clothes ‘accidentally’ walked in on us and I couldn’t believe that my ex actually offered him ‘some’ instead of running him.

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix
I am a 19 year old Jamaican born young lady, who currently resides in Miami. I am what you might consider to be attractive as I have a light complexion, with long hair and a coco cola bottle shape. As a result of this, I never had a problem with getting attention from guys ever since I developed. To make matters worse, my body developed early, and I noticed that all the boys in my neighborhood and even my father’s friends started to give me more attention.

Even though a lot of boys liked me, I tried to keep my intimate boyfriends to a minimal because I didn’t want people to view me as a b*tch. No matter how I tried, all the guys that I dated all turned out to be dogs. I always tried to be faithful to them and nine out of ten times they either cheat or start to act up on me.

My worse relationship was with this married guy that was a bit older than me and was very abusive and sexually perverted. He wanted to experience me from the ‘back door’ (Butt) - all kinds of sh*t and he would beat me if I didn’t comply with his wishes. After leaving him, I sort of began to give up on men totally because I have had so many bad experiences it just didn’t make sense to be with them. I would settle for a one night stand whenever I got the urge, but I found that I needed more in terms of comfort and security.

This is where my problems really begun - my best friend is a bisexual female and ever since we have been friends; she has been trying to convince me to have sex with her. I used to say no, but ever since my bad experience with the married man, the idea of giving up men totally has become more attractive. One night we were home alone and she begged me to let her make me have an orgasm and to be honest with you, when she licked my p*ssy I felt like I was in another galaxy.

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix, I have a problem and need your help. I have been married for 4 years and I love my husband, I know he loves me too, at least so I thought. But lately things are just not the same - he doesn’t seem to appreciate me anymore.

I wash, cook, clean, pamper him, have sex and do all the normal things that are expected in a marriage. Whenever he gets text messages or phone calls he hides them. I found a few that was sent to him and they sound like something you would say to your man. I also saw a few little sexy notes that he sent and he has never ever wrote text messages like that to me. The only time he shows interest in me is when he wants to have sex or something to be done.

I hardly get to see him or communicate with him because all he does is work, then roam the street and comes home late at nights. He is on the phone all the time with other people and he seems to be fine, except for when he has to deal with me.

I have done everything I can including: keeping myself in shape, get my hair done and put myself together like I always do. I try to build little conversations, but all he does is shut me out. I am not sure what else to do as I have tried. I think he is seeing someone else but I do not want to assume. Please give me your advice or what you think. Help!!!!

-K.L

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix, I’m confused about a certain situation and I need some advice. I have been dating this girl for a while now. Early in our relationship we talked about oral sex and we both shared the same view about it being repulsive and we decided we would never do it. We’ve been having sex for about 5 months now and it has been very good. About a week ago she related to me what her friends were telling her about oral sex as they have been involved in it. She decided that she would like for us to give it a try. I have always thought oral sex was something I would never be involved in but right now I’m not so sure. I tried to seek advice from two of my close friends, and to my dismay they said I should do it. One just said he didn’t have any problems with it, and the other said it was good. He also went on to say if I don’t do it to her then someone else will.

I’m not really worried about that though as I trust her. I tried talking to one of my other friends (a girl) about it and her view was the same. She suggested that I do it. She said her boyfriend does it to her and she really enjoys it. I tried to imagine myself doing it to my girlfriend and I grossed myself out thinking about, so much that I nearly started vomiting. I told my girlfriend that the idea is still repulsive to me. She was understanding and asked me if it is ok for her to do it to me then, and I do not need to do it right away, she’ll wait until I’m comfortable with it. I did not give her an answer to that question right away as I thought it would be unfair to her for her to do it alone. I have been reading articles about it online and to be honest I’ve become curious, so much that I think I might end up doing it. Is it wrong to feel like I might want to do it? Is it wrong to actually do it?

-Young Man.

Family Disapproved of Cyber Love

Hi!
I’m living in the UK. About two years back I met this guy on a web site who’s from Jamaica, ever since the first time we chatted we just clicked and we’ve been chatting and communicating via phone since then. When even I’m chatting or speaking to him I just feel really happy. I think about him 24/7 and I would really like to spend the rest of my life with him. I know it might sound silly but I love him with all my heart, since I’ve started chatting with him and we decided to have a long distance relationship. I haven’t been with any other guy it’s like no one else matters or interests me. I just want to wait for him.

The problem is that my family and friends don’t see things the way I do. They are saying that there’s no way I can be in love with someone I’ve never met in person before and that things will never work out. Everyone is saying that he probably has his girl in Jamaica and he’s just using me, but I just can’t get myself to believe that. It’s not like he asks me for money or anything like that, we just chat and make plans as to how we’re going to work towards having a future together. I’m suppose to be meeting him this July for the first time and I’m really excited and looking forward to it but the way everyone else is acting it’s just stressing me out. They are making judgments about him and also talking him down because he’s not as well off as I am.

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix,
I read your advice column yesterday (last week) and was impressed with the advice you gave to the young man. I have my own dilemma and would like your advice.

I am a 20 year-old woman attending a tertiary level institution in the Montego Bay area. I consider myself very attractive and most guys compliment my figure. I am also an outgoing person who enjoys meeting people.

I have been dating this guy for two months, he is a perfect gentleman, and he always tries to give me anything I want. He makes a respectable living and he is very progressive and ambitious as he is always looking for new opportunities. We connect on a social level, however, the problem is that he has a very small d**k - when I say small I mean that it is short and very mawga. The first time we were about to have sex, and he took off his clothes I had to search to find it- it was so embarrassing.

I know that he is sensitive about it because I realize that he always wants the lights to be off whenever we are having sex and he has had to resort to ‘other’ methods of trying to please me sexually. The thing is that nothing can replace a good d**k and that is what I am used to getting, as my last boyfriend was very well endowed.

Mr. Proppa Fix - Tek it or leave it

Dear Mr. Proppa Fix,

I am an educated young man with a well paying job in the Corporate Area. I consider myself well mannered and good with women.

A few weeks ago, I was introduced by a friend to a young woman who attends a tertiary institution in Kingston. She is very attractive and smart and we had no problem hitting it off. We went out for a date on the same night we met and after we went back to her place to ‘chill’. Nothing happened because I think that people should get to know each other before they become intimate. We kept in touch over the phone and went on several dates after that and we have started to develop feelings for each other. My problem is the other day she told me that she has something to confess to me - she told me that she had lied about her age and she was in fact 16 instead of 18 as she had previously told me.

Mr. Proppa fix I felt upset and confused because I don’t usually date people that are younger than me and this girl is nearly 8 years my junior. The major dilemma is that she is desperate for us to have sex and I am very hesitant because of the age difference.

Most of my friends are styling me as a ‘waste man’ and a’ rucks’. They think that if she looks ready for the plucking then I should give it to her the real and proper way. However, I really do not want to take advantage of her even though I know that she is not a virgin and legally she is the age of consent. She keeps calling me and expressing the same sentiments and my friends keep telling me that nobody has to know and we can keep it between both of us.

Disclaimer :
The opinion of this writer's article is not necessarily the opinion and views of OutAroad.com

Letter To The Editor

I grew up seeing guns but never had the desire to use one.

Violent movies are made and viewed regularly. Violent music made in other genres every day.

Now I am not condoning violence in music but on the same note why not boycott violent movies and music (from other genres).

In my view the root problem of violence in society is:

1) Bad or insufficient Parenting
2) Poverty and lack of educational and economical opportunities etc.
3) Lack of Mental strength
4) Lack of proper Governance of the Country

The order from 1-4 is important also.

I was born and raised in Kingston 13 along with my sisters many of my cousins. Only one of my cousins turned out bad and that was because of bad parenting.

I lived near a weekly dancehall session for most of my childhood and adolescent years. I grew up seeing guns but never had the desire to use one. Death was an ever present sight especially in the election time but my relatives and I never partake in the violence.

Most of my high school and university friends came from the deep ghettos and know violence but we never indulged.

All of my friends from High School and University that I am in touch with are doing well economically and in many other ways and I have never heard that they were ever involved in any violent acts.

Most of my relatives, friends and I grew up on violent movies and we watch them even now and listen to Movado, Killer, Ninja, Shaba, Beenie, Kartel, Buju, Capleton (yes Buju and Capleton did a lot of violent songs) etc. even now but we don't commit violent acts.

Disclaimer :
The opinion of this writer's article is not necessarily the opinion and views of OutAroad.com

Letter to the Editor

The Caribbean Urban Music Awards seems to be another overseas invasion, whilst we sit and accept the so-called established industry awards. Proper research has not been done on this Caribbean Urban Music Awards and it's organizers who have in my opinion produced fictitious figures and specs to manipulate bureaucratic trust.

I have two questions to ask:
1. Why is it that our Jamaican music heads are so gullible?
2. What does Urban Music means to Jamaicans who will be voting in the People’s Choice?

Urban Music is the accepted title that media houses, promoters and producers use to avoid explaining their involvement with marked Dancehall artistes. So why is Sizzla getting this award again?

Disclaimer :
The opinion of this writer's article is not necessarily the opinion and views of OutAroad.com

Letter to the Editor

Anti-father propaganda: Queen Ifrica's song demonizes and encourages wholesale disrespect and hatred of fathers. The anti-male feminists couldn't be happier to hear a song like this. "Tear down the patriarchy!"

Mothers, aunts, uncles, brothers and sisters also engage in child molestation, not only the father. If you were sincere about addressing child abuse, you would've spoken to all the guilty parties, which includes every single member of the household and the society at large. You would've chosen your words wisely, to reflect a balance, knowing damn well it isn't only SOME fathers committing this heinous act, but SOME mothers, and other family members as well.

What about the women who are enticing underage girls to join them in lesbian acts? Are you going to sing "Mommy don't touch me there?"... "Policewoman don't touch me there?".. "Madam Teacher don't touch me there?" And what about mothers in incestuous relationships with their sons? You know it's happening. How about a male singer doing the flip version of that song and sing "Mommy don't touch me there?" You would raise hell, wouldn't you? Because the mother is a "sacred cow" and you mustn't say anything to taint the institution of motherhood, even though some mothers should be in prison at this moment for burning kids with close iron, beating babies on their mouths with cups and doing other ills.

Every self-respecting man and father should shun you and your lopsided anti-father propaganda rubbish.

-Loving father

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