Article By: Nils van der Linden
The gods are miffed. They just can't get no respect from man.
So big kahuna Zeus gets little bro and Underworld badass, Hades, to show them who's boss. The deal: sacrifice a hot princess or we unleash a computer-generated sea monster. But Perseus - half-god, half-Australian - is having none of this. So he treks off in search of something that can kill the beast. Giant scorpions, weird guys with glowing eyes, a scarred mofo, and one ugly bitch get in his way.
Or something like that. 'Clash Of The Titans' doesn't pay much attention to its plot. Neither should you. After all this is a 21st century ADD remake of a 30-year-old movie that had Harry Hamlin in a dress fighting off miniature plastic monsters with the help of a mechanical owl.
The 'LA Law' man is now action-hero-for-hire Sam Worthington, the stop motion creatures replaced by CGI nasties, and R2D2-with-wings dumped by the side of the road. But the smell of cheese still lingers.
Blame the stilted dialogue, OTT performances, and mildly tacky visual effects if you must. You'd be missing the point though. Directed by the Frenchman behind 'The Transporter 2' and Edward Norton's 'The Hulk', this galloping, no-nonsense action-adventure is as much fun as it is disposable.
Sure it lacks originality - nicking the sweeping vistas of 'Lord of The Rings', copying the essence (if not the visual flair) of '300', mimicking the scope of 'Gladiator', resurrecting 'The Mummy's sense of adventure - but 'Clash of the Titans' has something far more contagious: childish enthusiasm.
It's a thrill to watch our demigod hero Perseus and his hirsute band of interchangeable sidekicks slay "that bitch" Medusa. The incidental arrival of the winged Pegasus and his herd is simply spellbinding. And what's not to love about two Oscar-calibre actors rip into the worst dialogue this side of Mt Olympus? Liam Neeson - all toga and Eugene Terre'blanche beard as Zeus - clearly relishes the idea of bellowing lines like "Unleash the kraken!", but it's Ralph Fiennes who's obviously having the time of his life playing Hades halfway between a camp Rasputin and John Travolta in 'Battlefield Earth'.