Dear Mr. proppafix
I am a middle-aged educator at a prominent school in rural Jamaica. I have been having some problems for the past few months and I was wondering if you could advise me as how to deal with them. Others have told me that I am a quiet person and I tend to keep all my feelings inside instead of revealing them to others so writing this letter to you is a huge step for me.
I was raised in a Christian household, and like many Christian young men, I decided to get married at an early age. She is much more outgoing than I am - she likes to go out, she has many friends and has a lot more hobbies than I do. She used to always say that I needed to be more adventurous and that I act like an old man!
I gave her all my love, commitment, and I never looked at another woman while we were together. Our sex life was interesting and the first time we made love, I realized that she was experienced. It was my first time so I was lost and I felt a little embarrassed, but she assured me that she would work with me until I became a ‘pro’.
We had been having some rocky times in our marriage and this is so painful to say but to cut a long story short, I came home one day to find her having sex with a man in my house on my bed! Obviously, she had to go and we haven’t spoken since.
My big problem is - call me crazy or just plain stupid, but I still think about her. Sometimes I wonder what she is doing and if she is ok! She works part time and I wonder if she is making ends meet. I don’t know how to get her out of my thoughts. I haven’t mentioned these feelings to anybody because I am afraid that they will laugh at me and maybe think I am stupid. Should I contact her and reconcile? Technically, she is still my wife because the divorce is not final.
When I was a young man, I went with my grandfather to his cane piece and accidentally sat in an ants nest. I am sure you can imagine what happened and I am sure that you can understand that it has never happened again (and that was a long time ago). That simple event has thought me a life long lesson- I will never let something negative that has happened to me once, happen to me twice.
If you get back together with this woman, you are asking for it. It is obvious that she wants something different. She wants excitement and maybe you just were wrong for each other from the start.
I know that you love her but some love is pointless- particularly if it is going to cause you constant pain. My advice to you is to let it go and give yourself the chance to see what life has to offer and enjoy yourself while doing it. Don’t let this woman get you down because I am sure she is doing fine - if she needed you she would contact you- trust me! I am certain that there is better for you out there so stop sulking over her.
That is my advice young man - tek it or leave it
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