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My husband is a bisexual - What must I do?

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Hi Mr. ProppaFix - I am a well educated woman in a good job. I used to laugh at people that wrote to these advice columns, but I think that you do a really good job when it comes on to giving good advice. I have found myself in a real jam and I was wondering if you could help me out because I have nobody else that I can chat with face to face about my business. bisexual

I have been married to my husband for three years and we courted for five years before that so I thought I knew him but apparently, there were things that I didn’t know. The problems all started about two years into our marriage when certain things became apparent.

We have a family friend that my husband and I knew before we got married. I would to believe that they are only best friends as they spent a lot of time together and they even worked at the same company. The first sign of any problems happened when my husband proposed to me and at the time, I could not understand why his friend stopped coming round to the house as he used to. My husband said that they had a little conflict and were no longer on speaking terms. I accepted his explanation and thought nothing of it as the best of friends have conflicts from time to time.

Couple of days after I was doing some chores around the house and I found that my husband had left his phone and gone out with his friend. I have never had any reason to doubt his loyalty to me in any way, but for some strange reason - I decided to have a look at his text messages and I was shocked at what I found. There was a message in his phone that was saying that the person missed him and how long they haven’t been able to make love at their favorite spot in such a long time. As you can imagine I was so upset and I really didn’t know what to do. There was no name attached to the text. So I private my number and dialed and to my surprise - a man answered the phone. At first, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I didn’t want to believe so I hung up the phone without saying anything. I called my closest sister later that day, she called the number and got the same person, and later we found out that it was my husband’s best friend.
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I am confused as to what I should do. It feels like I am stuck in an episode of the twilight zone, but it is actually my life. I confronted him about the text the next day and after breaking down in tears, he finally confessed to me that he has always been bisexual and he and his friend have been living a double life since high school days. He said that he loves me, but this is just how he was born and he only got married because I was pressuring him into it and he didn’t want his parents to be suspicious.

Mr. Proppafix I am in hell right now because so many things are running through my mind. We have two kids and I don’t know what is going to happened to our marriage knowing that my husband is a fag and I can’t stand to look at him. I haven’t eaten since I found out and I am starting to get sick and my children are sensing that there is something wrong.
I desperately await your response
-P.T.

Dear P.T.
I am really sorry to here that your marriage has turned out like this. I am always disappointed when marriages turn sour and in this case, there is no coming back. I think that you should leave the dirty bastard because he lied to you in the worse way possible. How could he want to use you as a cover for his homosexual life style? If he wants to be gay - then he needs to go and do just that instead of pretending to be straight in the public’s eyes and gay behind closed doors. Behavior like this should be punishable by law.
I am only glad that you found out what was happening before it was too late. You can still leave him and move on to bigger and better things. Find a man that is playing for one team, not both.

I am also encouraging you to pay your doctor a visit and get the necessary checkups because you might never know of the various diseases that you might contracted from his filthy lifestyle.

Leave this man now- that is my advice young woman – tek it or leave it.

Are you having an issue that you can’t resolve by yourself? Need some advice? Send your emails to mr.proppafix@gmail.com

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Comments (42)

 

Steppa:
Posted by Steppa | August 28, 2008 10:12 AM

I'm sorry to hear that, but you should have seen some sign that he was a Ba**y man. no man a par with another man so tight, if a nah Ba**y man. You should have left him the minute he confessed. He's not going to change for you. He's not bi., he a Ba**y man. If you are a real man and you feel how good puss* feel and then you turn to b*tty, something is wrong with him. NO MAN BORN WITH IT. Leave him now. That your kids and go. Nothing good is giong to come out of this. AIDS is real sister.



toni:
Posted by toni | August 28, 2008 10:12 AM

Come on now u know what to do... Leave him, he doesn't want you and he has made it clear... He said it he only married u because u pressured him and because he didn't want to draw suspicion... Go straight to the doctor... he may have put u at risk with his nasty life style..I don't hate men who are gay but i hate when they decive women.... Damn dutty dog!



ZStarr:
Posted by ZStarr | August 28, 2008 10:20 AM

Get out hunny.. there is too much sh*t going around that u r exposing yourself too. Get out..



FO:
Posted by FO | August 28, 2008 10:35 AM

Listen Lady u shouldn't even affi write Mr. Proppa Fix fe a ansa. Leave him! Him wicked and I know that it hurts so bad when your mate cheats with the opposite sex but I cannot begin to imagine how it feels when it is the same sex. I hope you have balanced your life so you will be able to move on with your children and manage without him.And another thing you didn't force him to get married, that was his choice so don't listen to him telling you that you pressured him into getting married, he had more pressure to prove something to society than you did. B*ttyboy fe burn in hell!People these days cannot be trusted.Pray on it if you believe in praying and the man above will give you peace within.



Jay:
Posted by Jay | August 28, 2008 10:43 AM

SOunds like that movie that everyones been watching called cover...its sad that some of black brothers are using women to cover up their sexuality...and especially making our helpless sisters prown to HIV and other diseases...if your gay..you cant help it...and if your going to hide it dont let it be at the expense of someone elses time, love,and devition..Bt Best of luck..stay strong...and also get checked regardless of what he told you...



Krystal eyes:
Posted by Krystal eyes | August 28, 2008 11:05 AM

YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM RIGHT NOW. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, BELIEVE ME SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN TAKING D*CK IN THEIR A*S SINCE HIGH SCHOOL AINT GONNA GIVE IT UP NOW FOR NOTHING. THE WORST PART ABOUT IT IS THAT HE WENT AND INVOLVE CHILDREN IN HIS DIRTY LIFE. MY SISTER TAKE YOUR KIDS AND RUN, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ABOUT AIDS, HEPATiTIS, HERPES, SYPHILIS, HIV, ect... BELEIVE THIS IF U FORGIVE HIM AND TRY TO MAKE IT WORK THAT'S WHEN HE IS GONNA START GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH F**KING OTHER MAN. BECAUSE HE IS GONNA SAY THAT YOU KNOW AND FORGAVE HIM AND WILL FORGIVE HIM AGAIN. TRUST ME BABY IT'S NOT WORTH IT!



Posted by jayrulez | August 28, 2008 11:33 AM

lef d b*ttybwoi n inform pon him mek d ppl dem dun him



RJL:
Posted by RJL | August 28, 2008 11:33 AM

Park his a*s right where you found him! YOu deserve better. As women, we all do!



RJL:
Posted by RJL | August 28, 2008 11:35 AM

Park his a*s right where you found him! You and your children deserve better. There is no excuse for this type of deceit.



SKITSOfranic:
Posted by SKITSOfranic | August 28, 2008 11:41 AM

shat di b*tty man inna him r*ss mek sure him dead an guh tek a new non b*tty man an di must important part r shat di b*tty man inna him r*ss mek sure em d*ad use extra bullet if needed den guh get a new non b*tty man nery important he is a non b*tty man



GravyUK:
Posted by GravyUK | August 28, 2008 12:00 PM

B*rn him. Well, doubt u'd have the courage to do that but i think a split would be best. Them kinda things and children should never mix. i beleive homosexuality is a mental illness and u can't afford to have them sick ppl around u.
Hope u make the right decision



neka glama:
Posted by neka glama | August 28, 2008 12:13 PM

Dats so nasty b"tty boy fi d*ad.



Punanny Dan:
Posted by Punanny Dan | August 28, 2008 12:32 PM

Lady, you should have left his sorry a*s a long time ago. You certainly didn't need to ask ProppaFix for advice on this.
You found out about his dirty lifestyle by accident, and he fessed up after you confronted him about it. And this chi-chi man had the audacity to make you feel bad by saying you pressured him to marry you! Run him out!!!
Your husband used you and the marriage as a front, to prevent others from knowing about his nasty habits. Please, take your children and get as far away as possible from that nastiness!



nigel hinds:
Posted by nigel hinds | August 28, 2008 12:59 PM

its life most people are bi.in america u be lucky if u find a straight guy.just accept it and move on.its 2008 we need to be more open.at least he dont beat u up or throw u out the house for his friend



Heathen:
Posted by Heathen | August 28, 2008 1:02 PM

It's called a DIVORCE and you are within your rights to seek one. You were courted under the impression that your partner is completely heterosexual and the truth has revealed he is not. I advise you to get your divorce as this is not a sign of failure on your part. The longer you stay the more turmoil you will develop in your life. Go with God sister and realize that we are living in a perverse world and perverse times.



A Child of God:
Posted by A Child of God | August 28, 2008 1:49 PM

Ma'am:

DO you know the nasty things these people do. Think about this. YOu kiss your husband, he kiss another man's butt hole. He places his penis in another man's anus where sh*t comes from and comes back and places the same nasty filthy disgusting penis in your vagina. And if he's gay, you know oral sex is nothing to him. So you kiss the same mouth that he's placing on this guys penis. THIS IS NOTHING YOU CAN FIX. YOU HAVE BEEN VICTIMIZED. That dirty bastard got you pregnant to hide his nasty lifestyle. Everything he has done has been about him. He doesn't love you. The BIBLE SAYS "LOVE DOES NOT HURT, LOVE IS NOT SELF SEEKING" This man you're speaking of is all of these things, he doesn't love you and never has.



carmen morris:
Posted by carmen morris | August 28, 2008 2:04 PM

WELLI SORRY TO HEAR BUT LIFE GO ON AND U TELL M U NEVER SEE NO SIGN COME ON BABY BUN DE B*TTY MAN bit wot da left u u need to check your self out



Anonymous:
Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2008 2:25 PM

am an african lady from kenya u dont need to get your hands dirty jus pretend everything is fine and plan a trip to kenya with him, go to the city Nairobi and visit a suburb called eastliegh, then jus whisper to a few people around the he is gay and how he decived you you dont even have to expalain the situation, jus say he is gay and then you can thank me later for wat is goin to happen......no worry no problems ma sista clean cut.



meleon:
Posted by meleon | August 28, 2008 2:54 PM

Missis weh yuh waiting for? Word from di mountain? Tek weh yuhself. Do a "Usain Bolt" pon di dutty b*tty bwoy and move like lighting! Wah kine a advise u a look fah from Mr. ProppaFix? Grab yuh two pickney dem and run. And di naasty b*tty bwoy a come try put blame pon u seh u pressha him inna marriage? Afta 5 years wid one man, any woman woulda look forward to marriage. Him have all a dat time fi back weh and go bout him nasty ways, but nooooo, di fish a look good ooman fi hide behind. Runweh di fish and nuh have nutten fi do wid dat again.

Try get some counseling afta u run di sh*tlova to because it is clear seh u mind ravaged by di Jankrow! Nuh go inna anyting wid nuh man yet b 4 u heal because u naaa go ever trust until u do. Mi sarry u nevva si di signs. Oh, and file fi sole custody a u pickney dem to. Mek him support dem tru di bank, all visitation cut off fi him! Cant mek naasty pple come round u pickney dem.



rudeboy87:
Posted by rudeboy87 | August 28, 2008 3:19 PM

yow mi seh bun b*tty man!!! straight.baby girl leff him and find a next man. yuh dont need him in your life . you are well educated and trust mi you will find a good man.



Niceness:
Posted by Niceness | August 28, 2008 3:36 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that and I'll say a prayer that you recieve enough strength to do what you know is necessary.



camille:
Posted by camille | August 28, 2008 3:53 PM

OMG this is crazy. Yes she should leave him right away but at the same time what is she going to tell her children. How are they going to handle their father being a sissy. oh lord I hope hes a not a FLAMER



clare nelson:
Posted by clare nelson | August 28, 2008 4:10 PM

im really sorry sis, there,s a lot of men out there doing these things i dont know y they r so cruel, u shudn,t have to ask what to do u should ave part company with him a long time ago ,he,s a very cold blooded ,selfish heartless creature, god go with u.



Gryna Physician:
Posted by Gryna Physician | August 28, 2008 4:30 PM

Mygurl its a good thing ur eyes were touches else u wudnt find out lol....B4 u leave him Cook a nice sunday dinner and set the table and mix a Tall cup of sour sop juice and make sure u send the kids to there Grandparents then put some poison in the drink and make sure u put plenty because he deserve to die...If u dnt kno which poison to use reply to me let me tell u lol....mygurl he dnt deserve to live bcause they r ridin off the likkle yutes and promotin gay livity.If u hav a son check him to bcause he cud b there fingarin off the likkle yute..Its gonna B a cruel move but jus drink and get drunk r smoke some real high grade,if u want the best weed I will contact ma peeps in Westmoreland to get u a strong spliff,smoke get high and poison that nasti F_cka!That's my advise yung lady take it r leave it,Am out



mamalastboy:
Posted by mamalastboy | August 28, 2008 5:21 PM

Lady mi vex fi kno seh di bwoy a push him h**d inna man batty and a nasty up u p*ssy. U should hav line up sum gal friend and beat and cutup the b*mbo claut bwoy mek him inna hospital in critical condition mek it reach head line on all newspaper sayin wife beat husband for sexing man. I would feel so proud instead of vex dat f**ka.
And mek mi see if police would lock u up. But bruce would defend u cuz bruce nuh like dem guy deh.
And don't tell mi u still deh at the house and still having sex with him cuz u will be worst than him from the moment he confest to u it shouldn't take more than a fraction of a second fi u and u gal friends gang bang di b*tty boi. Youtube di boi mek di gansta dem see him. Lady if u don't out get he out. Mi bex u f**k I'm out.



Anonymous:
Posted by Anonymous | August 28, 2008 5:53 PM

chop off im d*ck



socially concious:
Posted by socially concious | August 28, 2008 7:07 PM

I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY YOU HAVE EVEN ASKED FOR ANY ADVICE. NO WAY SHOULD THERE BE ANY DOUBT IN YOUR MIND THAT THIS RELATIONSHIT IS OVER. THIS MAN IS CLEARLY GAY AND HAS USED YOU AS A FRONT. PUT HIS ASS OUT, FILE FOR DIVORCE IMMEDIATLY. STATE IN THE PAPERS EXACTLY WHY, YOUR FILING FOR DIVORCE. SEEK SOLE CUSTODY AND CHILD SUPPORT AS WELL AS SPOUSAL SUPPORT. NAME HIS LOVER AS THE REASON FOR THE DIVORCE, MI ONLY SORRY A NO AMERICA YOU COULDA SUE THE LOVER FI ALIENATION OF AFFECTION AND GET SOME MONEY FROM HIM TOO, IT WOULDNT EASE THE PAIN, BUT IT WOULD MEK DEM TINK TWICE BEFORE DEM TRY FOOL SOMEONE ELSE GYAL PICKNEY. PLEASE PLEASE GET YOUR SELF TESTED FOR ANY SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND SEEK COUNSELING. PRAY MY DEAR THAT GOD WILL ALLOW YOU TO FORGIVE THE SHIT HOUSE OF A MAN YOU MARRIED, AND EVENTUALLY TIME WILL HEAL YOUR WOUNDS. MY SISTER MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN. GOD IS GOOD AND ALL THIS TOO SHALL PASS.



Posted by DIAMOND | August 29, 2008 2:49 AM

MY GIRL....U SHOULDNT EVEN NEED MR PROPA FIX TO HELP U ON DIS ONE....ITS EASY.... JUST LEAVE HIM BL**DCLOT!
SIMPLE!
MAKE SURE U GET TESTED CUS U NEVA KNOW...



STEPPA:
Posted by STEPPA | August 29, 2008 9:36 AM

@nigel hinds, sound like someone is a B*tty man and a defend it kind. Not most man is Bi. Stop the Nasty chat. One of the reason my wife love me because she know she have a real man. Nasty f**ka.



Mi Seh So:
Posted by Mi Seh So | August 29, 2008 10:20 AM

@Gryna Physician


Off topic?
How are you so ignorant to think that orla sex is bad? Based on what?

You quote kartel? LOL First....NUFF and I mean NUFF entertainer are bowaz...you better ask some of the women that thaty've been with

Second: Kartel is an obeah worker....and preaches all sorts of VIOLENCE.......its a damn shame that he is who you look to follow or quote.

Sometimes it sadens me when I see what fellow Jamaicans emulate

Grow up!!!



Mi seh so:
Posted by Mi seh so | August 29, 2008 10:24 AM

regarding this issue...

Get the HELL out of that relationship......Nuff of these guys out here are undercover b*ttybwoys

Thats stuff has been going on for years...even some of the "rude boys"...Look pan all "di big man" ZEEKS..........look at some of these tight pants dancers......its sickness thats in the US..ASIA and the caribean...........Run weh di bwoy and mek sure seh him know seh you will expose him if he tries to retaliate against you.

I'm sorry you have been subjected to this..but know you knwo tht moving forwrd you WILL NEVER put ANYTHING pass any man..No matter how "straight" he may seem.



TallBrownHoney:
Posted by TallBrownHoney | August 29, 2008 10:56 AM

I know you have probably grown a deep love for this man because he is your husband, but please honey LEAVE him alone. You have children that don't need to be around such foolishness. Get on your knees and PRAY. God WILL answer you. Believe it. If you love your kids, leave him. God will work everything out for you.



KtheEmpress:
Posted by KtheEmpress | August 29, 2008 12:06 PM

It is obvious what you need to do young lady? your husband has not only committed adultery but of the worst kind homosexuality. It is not your fault, you might not have seen any signs. From my observation I believe these are the signs:

-men who only have female friends. It is ok to have a good friend of the same sex to confide in but you don't need to be with each other all the time

-Men who do not have sex with their women as often as possible (I am very suspicious of that)

-Men who are extremely homophobic are ones to look out for( some are involve in that activity while some are fighting the feeling)

-My take on homosexuality is that there are two groups 1. the ones that are born that way and 2. the ones that get caught up in the activity(whether through star aspirations, prison etc.)



sandy:
Posted by sandy | August 31, 2008 8:31 PM

i can image what this lady is going through i was dating a guy who was very close to his friend they would lock up in a room for long hour even in my presence,it was obvious that these two were gay and i was a cover i had to run him away as soon as i realise get myself checked thank god im o.k this was 15 years ago. just to summarise alot of married men are gay in jamaica especially in westmoreland thay keep raping off the young boys, i can remember going to school alot of my frind were assulted and the parents would hush things up because of the stigma, i could name a few, but i cant afford to have anyone's death on my conscience they know themselves



but a wah dis???:
Posted by but a wah dis??? | September 1, 2008 1:28 AM

But this sounds like a Dangel a write bout Moses Beenie man Davis, fi get help! So it look like she guh find him wid him bestfriend Blue!!! Hush lady!!! I can't tell u that I understand! My man is straight!!! Too bad for u! But hey! Take him to church!!!



FLAVAC:
Posted by FLAVAC | September 1, 2008 11:51 AM

leggo d nasty b*tty bwoy!!!!!! ur p*ssy musi full a sh*t u need 2 get medical attention right away becuz u ina sticky position. SORRY 2 HEAR.



Posted by Cindy | September 1, 2008 5:19 PM

That comment posted by "but a wah dis?" is so stupid. It seems that person read but when writing back got amnesia because D'angel does not have two kids, so there is no way that could sound like her. U r a damn fool, hitting off on people like that.



ba*ty bwoy fi de*d!:
Posted by ba*ty bwoy fi de*d! | September 2, 2008 8:48 AM

Tek weh yuhself ! why u need to even ask??? If it happen 2 me after mi stop beat him round di head wid a heavy object mi woulda kick him ra** out mek him guh live up wid di nxt freaky bwoy, Ba**y boy fi get b**m b*e b*e a dat me a seh if u tek him back he jus gonna keep using his dutty di*k n sti*k it inna more man its so simple, heres what to do, next time he go out to di secret place 2 check di next chi chi man dash him tings out a door n mek a big fire n get yuh door lock change you cant have children grow up round dem type a people him woulda tun yuh pickney dem gay 2 . GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!



fEARNUHN:
Posted by fEARNUHN | September 3, 2008 8:05 PM

lEAVE THE NASTY PARASITE ALONE! SORRY FOR YOUR LIFE CHANGING DISAPPOINTMENT BUT LIFE WILL GET BETTER STAY STRONG. DON'T HIDE IT FROM YOUR KIDS WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT OR IF THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH TELL EM. IF ANY TING DO THAT TO MY SISTERS THEY WILL GO TO NEVA-LAND...U DESERVED THE RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT WAS UP UPFRONT. IT'S THE SICKEST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. I DESPISE DEM DUTTY LIVING...AND PEOPLE. JAH GUIDE.



Gryna Physician:
Posted by Gryna Physician | September 4, 2008 6:45 PM

@ Mi seh so

Yo if u hav a family memba that is a gay and u dnt wanna loose him ur gonna get vex wit ma comment,I dnt hav a gay family memba that I kno of so if the government shud Kill all the gays in ja I wudnt b mournin yuh zimmy and a nex ting if entertainers wanna b bowaz that's there prob u check I kno I neva s_ck p_ssy and u hav man sayin they will neva but am not gonna say I will neva yuh zimmy but that's not in my thoughts and while I was growin up i learn how to f_ck p_ssy not s_ck pu__y,my whorin uncle get a gyal and put mi on her and tell me what to do and I learn from that so I didn't learn how to s_ck pu__y and I dnt wanna learn eitha,I kno I will neva fuck batty though...So dnt kno what in my comment that is so childish that I need to grow...Batt_ man fi dead and a dat mi seh....Am out



kIMBERLY:
Posted by kIMBERLY | August 1, 2009 12:37 AM

HOW CAN I TELL MY HUSBAND THAT OUR FRIEND SEXUALLY ASSAULTED ME?



brenda :
Posted by brenda | September 1, 2010 5:27 PM

I would want u to leave him



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