Family Disapproved of Cyber Love
Hi!
I’m living in the UK. About two years back I met this guy on a web site who’s from Jamaica, ever since the first time we chatted we just clicked and we’ve been chatting and communicating via phone since then. When even I’m chatting or speaking to him I just feel really happy. I think about him 24/7 and I would really like to spend the rest of my life with him. I know it might sound silly but I love him with all my heart, since I’ve started chatting with him and we decided to have a long distance relationship. I haven’t been with any other guy it’s like no one else matters or interests me. I just want to wait for him.
The problem is that my family and friends don’t see things the way I do. They are saying that there’s no way I can be in love with someone I’ve never met in person before and that things will never work out. Everyone is saying that he probably has his girl in Jamaica and he’s just using me, but I just can’t get myself to believe that. It’s not like he asks me for money or anything like that, we just chat and make plans as to how we’re going to work towards having a future together. I’m suppose to be meeting him this July for the first time and I’m really excited and looking forward to it but the way everyone else is acting it’s just stressing me out. They are making judgments about him and also talking him down because he’s not as well off as I am.
I don’t mind if he isn’t rich or may not be able to buy me fancy or expensive things. I’m not interested in that, as longs as he truly loves me and threats me good and can make me feel special in his own little way that’s all that matters, and besides he’s trying hard right now to set up his own business. I have a job myself so I know we’ll be able to make it financially. I just want my family to accept the fact that that’s what I want and just give us a chance to try and make things work, but no one will listen to me and I’m at the point where I’m having constant arguments with my family over him. I just want them to be glad that I finally found someone who accepts me for me and makes me feel special. I don’t want my family to be mad at me for not doing what they think is best for me (forget about him and move on) but I also don’t want to give up on this guy because I don’t want anyone else but him.
Thanks for your time,
R.W
Dear R.W.
Judging from the sound of your letter you seem to be young and a little naive. I have always been very skeptical about internet dating because of the many obvious dangers. People often create images of themselves that are not necessarily true. This person who you have 'met' online could have sent you a picture of somebody else and said it was him and there is no way you would know.
I do not want to put you down or make you feel as if you don’t know what you are feeling for this young man, but I really believe that it is impossible for two people to fall in love that have never spent a day together. I think it is safer to say that you like what you have seen of his personality, but as love goes - you need to take it slow. When and if you meet, there might be things about each other that you absolutely detest. He might have very bad breath, or being around him in person might annoy you.
There are so many things you need to know about somebody before you can decide if you truly love them.
You mentioned that you 'love him with all my heart' but are you sure that he feels as strongly as you do? You also said that you have reserved yourself for him only, but I think that your family has a point about him not waiting on you. Very rarely will you find a man that is willing to be completely faithful in a long distance relationship. The possibility also exists that this person could be using you as a means to obtain a UK visa in the future.
If you consider all of the factors that I have highlighted and decide to go against your family’s wishes and visit your friend in Jamaica I think you should do so with extreme caution. You didn’t say whether or not you had family members that live here, but if you do, stay with them and ask one of them to accompany you when you are going to meet him. If you don’t have any relatives who live here I think that you should ask a friend to accompany you and stay in a hotel.
Finally - There is nothing wrong with meeting people online and you may find that when you meet this young man in person, both of you may feel the same way about each other, I am simply saying to act wisely in how you go about doing so.
This is my advice young lady - tek it or leave it.
You Can email me at mr.proppafix@gmail.com
Posted on July 7, 2008 13:00
The internet dating is really tricky... I understand the points ur family and friends are trying to bring across... Most of these men online are looking one thing and that's MONEY, they will use u and bleed u dry.... But on the other hand he might really like u... It's a tricky sitution... If u plan on coming still, i agree with Mr.fix it, u have to be extremely carfull
Posted on July 7, 2008 13:18
SHE A EDIAT~
Posted on July 7, 2008 13:56
i agree with mr proppa fix due to the number of dangers u can expose urself to on the internet and going to see him, but at the same u see alot happening for u and this dude ,u can find love anywhere,i've seen people find love even in the prison system ,but b very careful,jus sit and plan wat ur doin with someone who will listen a close friend or family member,take it easy wid the love thing too u dont want to put all ur eggs in one basket.
Posted on July 7, 2008 14:09
u know what i think go for it girlfriend what make u happy go for it i also met this friend from jamaica on vibes connect and he so wonderful to me i could tll him anything and is like i know him he listen to me he make me feel happy so go with the flow love carmen
Posted on July 7, 2008 15:07
Hi R.W and Mr Proppa Fix i most say that i agree with what Mr Proppa Fix Said not %100 but say %70 but the other %30 that he spook of is true there are lots of stuff going on out there and alot of guys now these days coming on dating community to find some one that they need to rip off not say male only. these guy might send you a photo of some one else and some time it might be true. guys please don't get upset about what my self and Mr Proppa Fix said because my girl friend i meet her online and she never visit Jamaica Before but i travel on many trips to her country i am not rich and she's not but i love her she love me there is not one thing i hate about her so far R.W if you feel like thats what you need please protect your self if you have no one here in jamaica might as well you ask some one to company you and be careful. one other thing there is many ways you can prove it this guy real there are many ways you can get a life video clip by phone, or camera, webcam and many more its possible tell him visit a internet cafe where there have cam there and tlk to him for a while on cam. just a simple idea hope it helps
Scubby3
Posted on July 7, 2008 19:25
My girl take time to know that person.i think you are moving a bit too fas,t we will tell u the nicest things and we don't mean it because of the opportunity. U are xposing ur self to much to him know what u are saying to him,meet with him first before u say u love him.maybe he could be a nice guy but what if he is not, so don't argue with your family they want what best for u but I would glad if u could prove them wrong because u have some realy nice guys like myself but what if u don't.somthing like that happen to me and it didn't work out so take my foolish advice check u self before u wreck u self ok wish u luck I wouldnt like u to get hurt.if u wish to hear my story email me @ mamalastboy@yahoo.com kool.
Posted on July 7, 2008 22:11
mi never know that woman still this stupid, this is why women can never the world, are you a damn fool or something, just imagine how many guys like and I am talking about good guys and you turn them down for someone you don't even know is either you taking crack or me because mi can't mi eyes
Posted on July 7, 2008 22:24
if she was ever my sister the first two box i give her she would come to reality and I am speaking from a male point of view don't put your head in one basket especial for a basket that you don't know how many straws made it up
Posted on July 7, 2008 22:52
i hope this advice is not a bad one but I am going to tell you to follow your heart because this guy might be the best guy you will ever desire to be with
Posted on July 7, 2008 22:52
lol come on you guys take it easy on her she's from the UK think its really cold over there that's why but that's just life a mean she should know what she want but only thing we can say is that be careful it can turn out to be got and it can turn out to be bad R.W be safe yea
Posted on July 7, 2008 22:55
Dont be so mean to her guys,people's personalities are different depending on how they are brought up,and other social factors such as community, family life etc.
She is just naive cause she is honest with her feelings,she is an honest person. Truth is the world is crazy out there and a lot of predators are online. He may very well feel the same about her or maybe not.I do know however that you have to meet someone before you can truly say you want to be with them. Two years is a reasonable amount of time so it's now for you to meet in the safest way possible, then you will know. Your family is concerned but they should be more understanding its as if they want you to be wrong about the situation,instead they should help you why not accompany you here then???
The thing is everyone needs love and long for a beautiful love connection she is not an idiot or needs hit over the head as some of you will so gladly wish she just needs guidance..
~Peace and love always~
Posted on July 7, 2008 23:04
what if it's not the way we are thinking about what might happened as proppa fix mention that he could have up false photos but what if his photos are real and she's 500 pound cow hiding behind the tiny screen of her computer, sorry just could not help it, lol - this same sh*t happened to a friend of mine.
Posted on July 8, 2008 08:47
This is a very hard one. Babes follow your heart and pray hard that it leads you in the right direction. There are so many freaks out there these days that I am worry for you although I don't know you. But on the flip side you could end up being with the person you spend the rest of your life with. Take it in strides and be careful
Posted on July 8, 2008 10:03
WelI know humans always look on things negatively before the positives. I can relate to what she is saying because I fell in love with a girl I met on the internet and my family was all skeptical as well, but as it turned out we met and it was HER that I saw on the pics and we kicked it off like we were together all along and just been apart. We've been together for 1 year now and my family loves her. My advice is go for it cuz if you dont it will haunt you. Just hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Posted on July 8, 2008 11:09
Everbody....u all listen to... Toni you all hear way the man say (she a EDIAT}.......(Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh) ....da one da have me pon me back over ya....ah boy she just prove me point women a fool...laugh....yow, yow listen the one.. SCUBBY3....a try go round the thing...(no excuse) Sucbby3 70% a women pon earth a fool ...all Mr.PRoppa Fix....it a puzzle...me done tell u already so now supp rise me ....laugh
Posted on July 8, 2008 13:09
AM SORRY I UNDERSTAND THIS GIRL, I TO WAS IN THIS SAME SITUATION AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A GUY FROM JAMAICA VIA INTERNET. IT WASNT PLANNED THAT IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN, BUT IT DID. WE MET AND HE IS THE BEST, SO NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, YOU CAN FIND LOVE ANYWHERE, NO ONE IS PERFECT AND OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS, BUT I FOLLOWED MY HEART AND AM HAPPY, SO GIRL MY ADVISE TO YOU IS FOLLOW YOUR HEART TAKE CHANCES AND SAFETY IS THE KEY, BUT I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT YOU TWO, KEEP US POSTED, I BELIEVE YOU TWO WILL BE OK, THERE IS NOTHING STUPID OR IDIOT ABOUT YOU, YOUR INFATUATED WITH A GUY THAT CAPTURED YOUR HEART AND ITS OK, TAKE CARE AND LET US KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
Posted on July 8, 2008 13:17
yow anno try mi a try still but come on UK people don't have much fi seh about dem self its too cld over deh the ice fly inna dem head i bet if 1 a wej jamaican go ova deh nung fi a year r two by de time dem come back jamaica the tun fule
Posted on July 8, 2008 13:22
hey come on now my girl friend is from another country and i meet her over the internet seen but watch this i man nah leave jamaica to see a woman onless i see her on a moving camera or something can prove but the thing is my girl done have a webcam so do i we talk like all the time with her on it night and day so i see her now i travel on many trips to her all the time so things can work out guess come on man just tell her fe be careful yah cause dis world no right at all
Posted on July 9, 2008 01:20
well i meet my husband on vibes connect ,and we became good friends and got married had a baby but he got what he wanted (leaving jamaica)he left and he in mattes of 1mth .he is not taking care of his child we dont know nothing about him and we dont see him either so be very careful and think before you act the will tell you what you want to hear and do anything you want but once they get wha they want thats it for love
Posted on July 9, 2008 02:36
you know actually these dating community is both good and bad its all about how you used it yall using these site just be careful there are also guys just don't kill in a while so they could set up and then rob you and then shot you well caution is the key through
Posted on July 9, 2008 12:04
DON'T DO IT. HE'S PUTTING UP A FRONT UNTIL HE GET YOU TO SPONSOR HIM AND THEN HE STARTS TREATING YOU LIKE SH*T. PLEASE BE CAREFUL. LISTEN TO MR. PROPPER FIX AND MS. WOW
Posted on July 9, 2008 16:49
I'm not normally a fan of internet dating, but I've met persons who have fallen in love through this internet dating. So RW follow your heart. BUT BE CAREFUL.