By Matthew Laidlow

Aww, a newly-wed couple, isn’t it a wholesome sight to see?

They say love will last forever between couples who are destined to be soulmates, or in the case of many UK women, until a footballer’s money runs out. Jay-Z and Beyoncé have a problem based on their career choice of being musicians. While they’re not locked away in a studio, they are off around the globe touring at various gigs and festivals.

It appears that poor Jay-Z is missing his darling wife so much, he’s turned into a love-struck puppy. At a recent gig in Nigeria, he asked on his rider for a melon to be split in half and transformed in to a replica of his wife’s boobies. We just have one question: Are Beyoncé’s boobs green, sweet and edible?

At the Africa Rising concert in Abuja, Jay-Z made his strange request. Now, we’re not ones to criticise and point out the obvious, but if he missed the sight of his wife’s boobs so much, why did he not whip out his diamond encrusted blinged-up phone and look at a mucky photo? Or failing that, get her to send one? Mobile technology is a wonderful thing.

Maybe Jay-Z is just incorporating two of his favorite things together, fruit and ladies’ naked bits. If we had it our way, we’d incorporate pancakes and bowling together, but sadly we aren’t totally sure how that would work. Back to the drawing board for that one.

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